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The Things No One Tells You About Losing a Loved One

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26 Feb 2014 la 16:16 2 comentarii 412 vizualizari.

Before 2008, death was an abstract concept for me. But that year, I lost a friend who was younger than me. And somehow my own mortality became… real. Until then, I had seen the occasional weepy movie, and I had supported some friends in times of loss. But I didn’t get it. Even when my friend passed – because I didn’t attend her funeral – it didn’t feel real.

Then, last summer, I supported my brother through the loss of his best friend. He, with his 192 cm frame, honed by years of boxing, was broken. My heart went out to him. I did everything I could to comfort him. I felt so sorry for his loss. Even then, I didn’t get it.

Nothing I knew prepared me for the instrumental blow I would receive just a month later.

My best friend, my ex-boyfriend of 5 years, passed away suddenly. I was stunned.
And the experience of the two days leading up to the funeral made it all so much worse. He was not found immediately after passing, and the morgue didn’t inform the family that they needed to use a funeral home for the embalming. Yes, I know this kind of things aren’t supposed to happen anymore. Yet it did.

And through those excruciating two days I sat by his casket before the funeral, I looked at his face, barely resembling the person I knew and loved, and said to myself he shouldn’t know he looked so gruesome. Told myself I didn’t have the right to be scared. Forced myself to be there.

My close friend, his sister-in-law, stuffed me with pills. It all felt like a dream. I was crying, but on the inside I was numb. On the last day, the body smelled.

For about a week after the funeral, I thought I would be fine. I even thought to myself: it’s okay, it’s actually not that bad. I will be okay. It hurts, but I will be okay.

And then it started. It snuck up on me like a dark shadow. The first day it started, I just couldn’t get out of bed. I slept in the same clothes for about a week, ate in bed, had to push myself to take a shower.

(continuarea/follow-up huffingtonpost.co.uk)

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2 comments
  • 1

    Anger may be directed at our dying or deceased loved one. Rationally, we know the person is not to be blamed. Emotionally, however, we may resent the person for causing us pain or for leaving us. We feel guilty for being angry, and this makes us more angry…

  • 2

    I agree, Reka…

    Andreea Groenendijk
    2014-02-26 17:21:36 | Raporteaza

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Andreea Groenendijk este jurnalistă, scriitoare, editor de carte, consultant de imagine și susținătoare a unor cauze care luptă pentru drepturile omului
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